A Hunting We Will Go

I had this REALLY long post about when Ross and I went hunting this year. It was way too long for me to even think about reading/posting. It annoyed me so I deleted it. HOWEVER, it was funny enough that I have to talk about it.
It was like an episode of Bill Engvall or Jeff Foxworthy when they talk about taking their wives hunting.
Ross started out getting us "lost". He said that he wasn't, but when you stop walking and look around for ten minutes...that's lost to me.
Then I made a comment about us not wearing our orange vests. (I know my hunting safety) He made a nice little comment about him not knowing any deer that carried a bright flowered lunch bag. You know what Ross? Only because they are never given the opportunity I'm sure. AND he is the one that told me to pack "plenty of snacks" like I was a fat kid.
I'm telling one on him. He opened the door to the box stand after asking me to hold his gun. He gets the flashlight and looks all inside, up and down, side to side. Me: "What are you doing?" Ross: "Looking for bugs". REALLY??!! I'm pretty sure you are bigger than them.
I did pretty good most of the time. MOST of the time. I got bored. It was raining. And cold.
Me: "When do they come out?" Ross: "I don't know. I didn't get an email" ONE WORD and it begins with Jack.
Another one on him. Me : "I think it's raining" Ross: "It's not suppose to rain. That's acorns falling from the trees." Me: "Um no that is rain. See" Ross (looks at his phone): "The weather channel said it's not raining. see" HELLO there is liquid falling from the sky. Screw the weather channel.
After a long, tiring morning of watching squirrels chase each other we head back to the truck. In the daylight I see that the road we cam in on is only about 100yds away. Me: "Why didn't we come in straight in.  We wandered all around" Ross: " I didn't want anyone to see where we were going". UM Ross. I'm pretty sure they could guess what we were doing walking with camo on and a truck parked in the trees. If they think something else is going on in that truck they are sick and it's too early for all that.
Moral of the story....Don't take your wife hunting unless she is allowed to have her own gun.