B is not for Baby

I have the fever, yes baby fever. There are two reactions to this. YAY! You are married now, go ahead. OR WHAT! You are still in school and JUST got married AND you already have two kids. I usually ignore the second one. I have gone as far as planned an intervention with a friend to get Ross on board or stuck a baby in Ross' face/arms because he melts everytime. (yes I play dirty). However, things have changed, and I will tell you why I am entering baby fever rehab.
I have two friends going through very, very tough times in their lives. One is going through a nasty little thing doctors like to call infertility. I think it should be called something more pleasing to the person going through it's ears...like zygotely challenged or something. A little offspring is all she wants but can't have (YET). There have been some positive reactions to some meds after a long time, but the road ahead is looking longer and longer. It's a bumpy, rocky terrain and I pray for her everyday. I began to think of her last week and felt so selfish. Ross and I probably will look at each other the wrong way one day and become pregnant. ( I mean come on. Both of our track records are pretty good in that dept). Why can't I wait until things are more steady?? If my friend can wait for however long it takes, Can't I wait two more years??
Anther one of my dearest friends, and YaYas, is starting chemo today. She has a rare form of ovarian cancer. She calls it chiquita because we all know the c word is thrown out way too much in today's world and makes the thought of the fight even scarier. She is the bravest, funniest person I know. She has fight in her that I could never hold a candle to. She WILL beat chiquita. She no longer has cancer cells, but has to do chemo for preventative measures. Anyone who has had their own chiquita in their lives knows how tough it can be. I pray for her everyday too.
Why am I acting like a two year old about having a baby? (I'm an expert on two year olds, so I know exactly how they act and yes I'm acting like one) Why am I being so selfish? Why is it so hard for me to wait until I am out of school and working with a decent regular paycheck? By then Ross will get a raise, and we will be in a bigger house. It is not fair that I can't just wait. Be a big girl and pull up my granny panties and focus on my life as it is now. I am not fighting the fights these friends are fighting. My whinning is NOTHING compared to what they are having to go through. Everyday when the thoughts of pregnancy and babies pop in my brain I force myself to think about these friends.
I am praying that God will help me turn my head to bettering myself and my family I have now. It's not four person family, and I need to try to be the best mom and wife for them. God has blessed me in so many ways, I really don't deserve so much love.
The moral of this story...
....SHUT UP MARCI!!!